Child safety experts have found three big problems with how most kids are taught:
Problem #1: Kids Think Family Members Are Always Safe
Your child has been taught to trust family. To respect adults. To obey older relatives. To be polite even when uncomfortable.
So when a family member asks them to keep a secret? When someone's touch feels wrong? When they're pressured to do something they don't want?
Their brain doesn't say "danger" because this person is family.
Problem #2: Kids Don't Know What Grooming Looks Like
Research shows 87% of abuse cases use grooming. But most kids have never been taught what that means.
Here's what grooming looks like:
- Bribes — "I'll give you a present if you do this"
- Threats — "Something bad will happen if you tell"
- Secrets — "This is our special secret. Don't tell anyone"
- Blame — "This is your fault. You wanted this"
- Making it seem normal — "All families do this"
Kids who don't know these warning signs can't recognize danger.
Problem #3: Kids Don't Know What to Do
"Tell an adult if something feels wrong" sounds good. But it's too unclear for kids.
Which adult? What if that adult doesn't believe them? What words should they use? What if they're not sure if something is actually wrong?
Kids need a clear plan:
THINK: "Is this about private parts? Did they ask me to keep a secret? Do I feel uncomfortable?"
SAY: "No! I don't like that!" or "Stop! I'm telling Mom/Dad!"
DO: Leave right away. Tell a trusted adult. Keep telling until someone helps.
Kids who learn this plan are 3 times more likely to report abuse quickly.