That Was the Part I Got Wrong.
The wording in the video was blunt.
But there was one thought underneath it that I couldn't stop thinking about.
I had spent years imagining the person who could hurt my child as somebody I would recognize.
Somebody creepy.
Somebody inappropriate.
Somebody who gave me that feeling in my stomach.
Somebody I simply wouldn't allow around my child in the first place.
And if I'm honest, that belief had always made me feel a little safer.
Because if unsafe people somehow looked unsafe, then my job was simple:
Spot them first. Keep them away.
But eventually one question broke that whole safety plan:
That statistic did not make me want to become suspicious of every teacher, coach, relative, babysitter or family friend.
Most people in our children's lives will never hurt them.
But it did change the job I was giving my child.
I had been expecting them to somehow know:
“Is this person safe?”
That's an enormous question for a child.
Especially when somebody unsafe may first seem kind, familiar or trustworthy.
The rule shouldn’t.
If it's a stranger, the rule applies.
If it's somebody they really like, the rule applies.
If it's a teacher they trust, the rule applies.
If it's an older kid, the rule applies.
If it's somebody our whole family has known for years, the rule still applies.
They don't need to answer:
“Is this person dangerous?”
They need to know:
“Is this behavior okay?”
So I tried one little test.
I asked:
“What if a stranger tells you to keep a secret about your body?”
“Tell you.”
Easy.
Then I changed one thing.
“What if it's somebody you really like?”
Silence.
My child looked at me like they were waiting for the answer.
And that look told me what I needed to know.
They understood the rule when I had already labeled the person as dangerous.
They hadn't yet learned that the rule was supposed to stay the same regardless of the person.
And no — I didn't want to make my child scared of everyone.
That was actually my biggest hesitation.
I don't want my child suspicious of every coach.
Or nervous around relatives.
Or walking through childhood wondering whether every adult has bad intentions.
I wanted the opposite.
I wanted them to enjoy safe relationships without carrying the responsibility of reading another person's mind.
Because they don't have to determine whether somebody is secretly a bad person.
They only need to know their own rules.
- “My body belongs to me.”
- “I don’t like that.”
- “No.”
- Body secrets get told.
- “I can always tell Mom or Dad.”
And if you freeze, don't say “no,” or don't know what to do in the moment — you can still tell me afterward.
You will never be in trouble for telling me.
Because I wasn't trying to turn my child into their own security guard.
Adults are responsible for protecting children.
I just wanted my child to have language for a boundary and language for telling me when something confused them.
Then I realized I'd made one more mistake.
I was treating body safety like a one-time conversation.
We don't teach the alphabet once.
We don't explain how to cross the street one time.
We practice important things until they become familiar.
Yet with body safety I had basically done:
“Here's the rule. Hope you remember it if something ever happens.”
That didn't make sense anymore.
That’s what finally made Safe Kids Path make sense to me.
I wasn't looking for a children's book that could somehow tell my child which adults were dangerous.
No book can do that.
I wanted an easy way to keep rehearsing the same ideas without turning bedtime into one giant frightening conversation.
Safe Kids Path uses simple rhyming stories to make body boundaries, trusting feelings, speaking up and telling a safe adult part of normal conversation.
Read a story.
Ask a question.
Let them answer.
Another night, practice it again.
The goal isn't suspicion.
The goal is familiarity.
And the Parent Guide solved my part of the problem.
Because knowing these conversations matter and knowing exactly what to say are two different things.
How do I talk about boundaries without making my child afraid?
What scenario should I ask?
What words do I use?
How do I make it feel normal?
The Parent Guide gives parents conversation starters and scripts so the whole thing doesn't depend on coming up with the perfect words on the spot.
No book can guarantee a child will never be harmed.
These books don't replace supervision, attentive adults, or appropriate safeguards.
Their job is simpler:
Help make important language and conversations easier to practice.
The Person Can Change.
The Rule Shouldn’t.
Make body-safety language familiar before your child ever has to use it in a difficult moment.
- ✓ Three rhyming body-safety storybooks
- ✓ Parent Guide with conversation scripts
- ✓ Body-safety and anatomy learning resources
- ✓ Boy and girl versions available
- ✓ Designed for repeated conversations at home
The moment I understood what “practice” meant was completely ordinary.
Someone my child genuinely loves opened their arms for a hug.
My child paused.
Then said:
“No hug. High five?”
The adult smiled.
“Of course.”
High five.
Done.
Nobody was dangerous.
Nobody had done anything wrong.
And that was exactly why the moment mattered.
My child didn't have to decide:
“Is this person bad enough that I'm allowed to say no?”
The boundary belonged to them either way.
I still pay attention to the people around my child.
I still supervise.
I still trust my instincts.
I still pay attention when somebody ignores a boundary or seems overly interested in getting a child alone.
But I no longer want my child's safety to depend entirely on my ability to correctly judge every person they will ever meet.
I can't do that.
What I can do is make a few rules familiar enough that they don't change depending on who is standing in front of them.
The rule shouldn’t.
Safe Kids Path
Practice the conversation while everything is safe, so the language isn't brand new when your child needs to speak up.
See the Complete System →Choose the version that fits your child on the product page.
Sources & Notes
U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: The CDC reports that about 90% of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone known and trusted by the child or the child's family.
RAINN: Grooming can involve trust-building, attention, secrecy and gradual boundary violations.
National Center for Missing & Exploited Children: Prevention guidance encourages adults to practice physical boundaries with children and reinforce that children can assert boundaries even with trusted adults.